The world is buzzing about the "third gender," but Thailand has long embraced diversity—recognizing 18 gender identities without a fuss. It’s no surprise that, as Josef Woodman, CEO of Patients Beyond Borders, points out, Thailand is a top destination for gender-affirming surgery.

From the conventional straight male and straight female to unique identities like Tom Gay King and Cherry, Thailand's gender landscape is anything but simple. Let’s break it down:

The Basics

1. Straight Male – A man who likes women.

2. Straight Female – A woman who likes men.

3. Lesbian – A woman who likes women.

4. Bisexual – A person who likes both men and women.

The Tom & Dee Spectrum (Masculine & Feminine Women)

1. Tom – A masculine woman who likes feminine women (Dee).

2. Dee – A feminine woman who likes masculine women (Tom).

3. Tom Gay – A Tom who likes women, Dee, and fellow Toms.

4. Tom Gay King – A very masculine Tom attracted to other Toms.

5. Tom Gay Queen – A feminine Tom who likes other Toms.

6. Tom Gay Two-Way – A Tom who can switch between Tom Gay King and Tom Gay Queen.

The Kathoey & Gay Spectrum (Masculine & Feminine Men)

1. Kathoey (Ladyboy) – A man who identifies and presents as a woman.

2. Gay Queen – A feminine man who likes other men.

3. Gay King – A masculine man who likes other men.

Unique Identities & Cross-Attractions

1. Boat – A man attracted to women, Gay Kings, and Gay Queens.

2. Adam – A man who likes Tom.

3. Angee – A Kathoey (Ladyboy) who is attracted to Tom.

4. Cherry – A woman who likes Gay Queens (feminine men) and Kathoeys.

5. Samyaan – A woman who is attracted to Toms, lesbians, and other women—and can identify as one of them.

Confused? Me too 😂 But that’s the beauty of Thailand’s gender diversity— fluid, intricate, and far beyond a simple "male" or "female" label.

Read More: Echoes of Vietnam: An Odyssey Through Ho Chi Minh, Ninh Binh, and Hanoi

"That Ladyboy Is More Gorgeous Than Me!"

One of my biggest dreams of visiting Thailand? To see the legendary ladyboys in person—and trust me, they’re even more mesmerizing than I imagined! Beyond their stunning beauty, ladyboys captivate audiences with their incredible stage presence and talent.

Many foreign tourists visit Thailand to witness their dazzling performances live. I had the chance to experience this firsthand at Calypso Cabaret, one of Bangkok’s most famous shows, located in Asiatique, a vibrant open-air shopping mall in the heart of the city.

I bought my ticket for 900 Baht—a small price for a one-hour spectacle I had been dying to see! Seating was first-come, first-served, and luckily, I arrived early enough to grab a spot close to the stage.

The moment I stepped inside, the black and red interior immediately caught my eye. It felt like stepping into the set of Burlesque—retro, and dripping with old-school glam. The anticipation alone had my heart racing, and the show hadn't even started yet!

One act stood out to me the most—a group of ladyboys delivering a powerful protest performance about gender equality through drama. The show wasn’t just about glitz and glamour—there was also a breathtaking Thai dance performance, complete with vibrant, colorful costumes. It was a stunning blend of tradition and theatrical flair, making the night even more unforgettable.

As the curtains closed, the magic didn’t end there. The ladyboys lined up at the exit, ready for a photo session with eager tourists. Of course, I couldn’t pass up the chance! Standing beside them, I couldn’t help but think, "Wow, they’re even more beautiful than me—graceful, elegant, and stunning!"

If you want to capture the moment, don’t forget to tip them as a token of appreciation—a small way to show love for their incredible artistry. Want to experience the Calypso Cabaret for yourself? You can book your tickets here.

The Hidden Struggles Behind Thailand’s Ladyboys

In Thailand, ladyboys (kathoeys) are a familiar sight, seamlessly blending into everyday life. This acceptance is deeply tied to Buddhism, which, while recognizing their existence, often interprets it as a karmic consequence of past lives. Because of this belief, ladyboys are not condemned—but in some cases, they are pitied rather than truly embraced.

The booming tourism industry has also played a major role in shaping the lives of ladyboys. Many find work as cabaret performers, beauty salon professionals, or restaurant staff. Thailand even hosts the world-famous Miss Tiffany’s Universe, a transgender beauty pageant broadcast live on national television.

Yet, beneath the glamour, many ladyboys face harsh realities. Despite their contribution to Thailand’s vibrant tourism scene, discrimination still lingers. Many are rejected by their families, ridiculed by peers, or paid less than their colleagues.

Behind the dazzling performances and extravagant costumes, many ladyboys carry untold stories of struggle and survival.

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